Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Wanted: NFL Coordinator. Experience with Scoring Touchdowns a Plus

"The touchdown-challenged Bills scored only 20 offensive touchdowns this season, a record low for a 16-game season. The previous low was 22 offensive TDs in 1985. They scored 252 points, second-fewest ever for the team in a 16-game season, and finished with 248 first downs, also the second-fewest. The 2003 Bills scored 243 points, while the 2006 club amassed 234 first downs."
Link: "Offense came up short" via The Buffalo News

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Saturday, December 29, 2007
Airport fun

Back from the BVI and way too tired to write a full post tonight. One piece of airport news, though. The TVs at the baggage claim at American Airlines get the NFL Network. We can't even get the NFL Network on Time Warner. With Giants-Pats going on, tonight marked the first time ever I've actually not rushed to leave an airport.


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Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Clemens steals page from OJ

Forgive me for presuming guilt here, but Roger Clemens' latest announcement following the announcement in The Mitchell Report that the 7 time Cy Young award winner used performance enhancing drugs is perhaps the most outlandish yet. According to ESPN, Clemens' lead attorney has announced that they will be hiring a private team to investigate the findings themselves in order to clear Clemens' good name. I'll admit that The Mitchell Report reads like a document straight out of Salem, but what's next? Rocket playing the OJ role, going to every golf course in the country in search of "the real steroid user?" Should we expect the next ten years to produce increasingly bizarre behavior from Roger Clemens? Be careful who you steal from Rocket, I hear OJ takes his stuff back.


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Friday, November 09, 2007
Blogging Basketball

Watching the Knicks-Magic game... In the span of 30 seconds, Walt Frazier called the Knicks' and Magic's centers "omnipotent in the paint," then suggested that the fans were using Thunderstix to "bewitch" Dwight Howard. I like this new Knicks team, but I still cringe every time I see a cutaway to Isiah Thomas on the bench. And in ironic news, they now play "Bittersweet Symphony" on the organ at the Garden.


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Thursday, October 11, 2007
NFL coaches love the internet

On the heels of Herm Edwards comment earlier this year about how he doesn't "even have the Internet, Andy Reid, dismissing rumors that he's not focusing on coaching, attacked bloggers and coined the phrase "blog efficient."

"I'm not blog efficient, but it sounds like people can be very creative there. That has nothing to do with me. I just wanted to make sure people understood that."

I wonder what the reciprocal of the blog efficient is? I think it's 4.

Link via Pro Football Talk


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Wednesday, October 03, 2007
bo knows ratings

On 10/3/07, David Lerman <> wrote:
Blake, you need to pitch a show to VH1:

Mike Tyson
Rampage Jackson
Gary Sheffield
Ray Lewis
Dennis Rodman (is he still alive?)
Yao Ming (the straight man)

These 6 guys live in a house for 45 days. Just record everything they say.

You can call it "The Flava of Batsh!t Crazy"

p.s. Wait, what time is it? Damn, there's another one. Told ya.

On 10/3/07, Blake Stuchin wrote:
when i run the nfl network i'm going to have a Queer Eye/Pimp My Ride-type men's grooming show hosted by Michael Irvin where he teaches regular guys how to be stylish by wearing quintuple breasted suits with 9 buttons and oversized neckties like the one that hugh grant wore in Two Weeks Notice

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Tuesday, October 02, 2007
More excitement about the All Intelligent Offense

(14:43:23) Dan Abramson: i just changed my fantasy team name to Trent Edwards '08

(14:44:57) Dan Abramson: who knows what's gonna happen when he faces a real team on national television
(14:45:06) Dan Abramson: either way, i'm excited for a national bills game
(14:45:19) Blake Stuchin: wouldn't it be sweet if they win
(14:45:24) Dan Abramson: amazing
(14:45:26) Blake Stuchin: and then for one week everyone we know can be excited for us

(14:46:31) Dan Abramson: we've been let down by the bills for more years than most of the players on the team
(14:46:53) Blake Stuchin: we've been let down by the bills for more years than most of the players on the team have been alive

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Be true to your school just like you would to your girl

The Bills beat the Jets on Sunday for their first win of the season. The victory is made sweeter by the emergence of rookie studs Trent Edwards and Marshawn Lynch. Edwards went to Stanford, Lynch to Berkeley. They were drafted by Marv Levy, the Bills' 82 year-old GM, who has a master's in English from Harvard. I call them the All Intelligent Offense, which you'd find ironic if you've ever seen how Dick Jauron calls plays.

The Bills play the Cowboys on MNF this coming week, which will either be as painful as I expect it to be, or the best MNF game ever. Watch out Jerry Jones, our running back has cool hair, too.

p.s. Tony please say hi to Mr. Belding for me.


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Wednesday, September 26, 2007
greg oden is such an adorably big dork

Greg Oden, my favorite NBA player slash blogger who hasn't played a regular season game yet, reports that he got a dog and named it Charles Barkley McLovin. The image of Oden and his new friend is particularly awesome. Man I wish Oden wasn't out for the year. His blog is so awesome.


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Monday, September 24, 2007
hope springs eternal

(14:05:24) Blake Stuchin: also i like the all intelligent offense
(14:05:34) Blake Stuchin: edwards is a stanford guy and lynch is from berkley
(14:05:36) Blake Stuchin: this must be good
(14:05:37) Dan Abramson: yeah - stanford!
(14:05:42) Blake Stuchin: stanford is a big upgrade from tulane
(14:05:48) Blake Stuchin: how can this not work in our favor
(14:05:53) Dan Abramson: um, if you've ever seen an interview with lynch, you may take that comment back
(14:05:58) Blake Stuchin: yeah i know ... he plays football
(14:06:18) Blake Stuchin: even if he maybe didn't take the most strenuous courseload
(14:06:27) Blake Stuchin: if that were a blog post i'd link to andy katzenmoyer right now
(14:06:37) Blake Stuchin: who nearly failed golf at ohio state
(14:06:51) Dan Abramson: (nice)
(14:06:54) Blake Stuchin: and of course penny hardaway only barely passed TV when he played for nick nolte at western

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more things to love about 100% injury rate

100% Injury Rate on watching usc on saturday: USC is clearly the best team in [college] football. They have no weaknesses whatsoever. ... If this team stays focused, they should beat every team they play by a decent margin, including LSU, Florida, Oklahoma, Cal, and the Philadelphia Eagles.


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Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I've created a monster

This year I'm doing a fantasy football league with my friends and their girlfriends. It's a 12 owner league, 7 guys and 5 girls, and of the 12 people, 8 of them are new to fantasy football. As a lender, my goal is to manage risk. Risk of capital, risk of litigation, risk of emotional stress. In terms of my ego, creating this fantasy league is one of the dumbest things I've ever done.

Best case scenario, all that happens is that I win this league and I get accused of beating up on a bunch of newbies. Far more likely, however, is that I will be horribly humiliated. Even if I come in second place, I'll never hear the end of it. Personally, no good can come of this, but hey it's fun to do stuff with friends.

Meanwhile, the newbies are getting into the league and I fear that I've created a monster. Two weeks into the season and we're already getting arguments over trade vetoes, smack talk, and a whole lot of emotional ups and downs. I'm sitting at the top at 2-0 right now, but I expect to spend the better part of this Sunday cursing Andre Johnson's knee and wishing bad things upon Peyton Manning. Stupid laser rocket arm.


9th-seed-in-the-draft Bobbo beat you this week. You were supposed to be infallible, what gives?

A kid at the Make-a-Wish Foundation requested you go undefeated this season, and you let him down. You let that poor, sick kid down.

Be who he thinks you are -- he really wants to crown your ass. And if you don't take first place this year, I will simply assume that you love children like Michael Vick loves dogs.

By Blogger David, at Monday, September 24, 2007 4:05:00 PM  

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Friday, June 22, 2007
rules of new jersey

Source: Ticketmaster

I just got a Ticketmaster alert that Bon Jovi is playing 4 dates at the Prudential Center in Newark. This presents a tough decision. Blake's Rules of Life state that one should always make an effort to see Bon Jovi play live whenever he is playing in New Jersey, however the Rules also state that one must never go to Newark. This is a toughie. Lerman suggests I flip a NJ commemorative quarter.

Source: Forbes

In other news, Forbes has an interesting piece on the Top earning caddies in golf. Apparently Tiger's caddie made $1.27 million last year and was given a $140,000 new Ford GT as a bonus. I realize that there's a lot to it, but I can't help but think that all this person does is walk and carry sticks for a living.

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Longing for the days of Alex's MVP and R&L Galleries

Source: Flickr

I cleaned my room at my parents' apartment this weekend (more on that in a future post), throwing away thousands of my baseball cards. Good ones, too, not just "commons." Even 10 years ago, this would have been unfathomable to me, let alone 15 years ago, when my collection probably could have been sold to a dealer for at least a few thousand dollars. Now the market for the cards is a fraction of what it once was, and the few cards I chose to keep were those that I saved more for sentimentality than any value that they might have once possessed.

Mark McGwire's once sought-after 1985 Topps rookie card (the '84 Olympic team card) is being listed on eBay for around $10. I was collecting baseball cards at exactly the time that their market reached unprecedented heights, and I remember when a PSA 10 of that McGwire card alone (and I had 2) could fetch upwards of $1,000. That card wasn't even the gem of my collection. At one point, I had the '87 Classic Bo Jackson, the '83 Topps Traded Darryl Strawberry, and the '90 Leaf Frank Thomas. Actually, Danny had that one, and I wanted it so bad. I've got a '78 Eddie Murray, a '79 Ozzie Smith, and even an '89 Upper Deck Ken Griffey, Jr, the card that some say created the baseball card industry's feeding frenzy of the early 1990's. But man I wanted that Frank Thomas card.

There's a legion of kids about my age who believed that they'd one day become price guide-authoring, pre-blogger-era media superstars like their hero, the inimitable Dr. James Beckett. We never learned what the Dr. was for anyway.

For those dorky enough to remember it all, here's a trip down memory lane with some of my favorite cards:

The infamous 1988 Fleer Billy Ripken error card. Someone on the '88 Orioles team thought it would be funny to write "Fuck Face" at the bottom of Billy's bat during picture day (it was). Billy had a fairly indistinguished 12-year career as a second baseball for some crappy teams in the the light hitting late 80's-pre-power-surge era of steroid-free baseball, but the card's popularity was increased by the fact that Billy is Cal's little brother. Fleer pulled the card shortly after the error was discovered, but a few thousand were already out there. I pulled mine out of a rack pack sometime around 1991, an experience which, when prorated for my age and maturity at the time, ranks somewhere below seeing Beck in concert (really good) and above getting promoted at my first job (pretty decent) in the pantheon of my own memories. I am such a loser.

1987 Classic Bo Jackson, the "football/baseball" crossover rookie card. Classic cards weren't even meant to be collectibles, they were part of a trivia board game that could be played with the cards, and '87 was the first of several Classic series. This wasn't even really an official Bo Jackson rookie card, but because Classic made such a limited run in its first year, the card's rarity drove its value way up during the "Bo Knows Bo" era. I got this card in 1989 when I was at Westchester Summer Day camp. We were brought into some building to play board games during a rainy day, and I found the original Classic board game buried underneath several editions of Chutes & Ladders. I also remember that I saw Rocky for the first time that day, followed immediately by Rocky II and, the next day, Rocky III and Rocky IV. Looking back on it, I think I just had a counselor who was really into Rocky.

1989 Upper Deck Ken Griffey, Jr. card. If memory serves me right, this was card #1 in the set. Being card #1 was always a big deal, but it was particularly significant considering that this was Upper Deck's very first set and Griffey was drafted straight out of Moeller high school and had not yet even played a day of pro ball (nor would he ever play in the minors). Upper Deck was the first company to include a hologram on their cards. And yeah, I'm writing all of this from memory. I don't remember how I got this card, but clearly, I could have used some other hobbies when I was 9.

1981 Topps Harold Baines rookie card. I love this card. Despite the fact that the card is from the early '80's, everything says "70's" about it to me, from the ugly ass colors, to the cheap design, to Baines' amazing facial hair. I got this card when my uncle went to a tag sale and paid $3 to some guy for a binder filled with a bunch of cards from the 1980's, including an entire page of nothing but Vince Coleman cards, and 6 Oddibe McDowells. What a sweet binder.

Darryl Strawberry '83 Topps Traded rookie card. I got the '83 Strawberry in that same binder that my uncle bought for three bucks. Topps Traded was always an awesome series because while the regular Topps set was issued in advance of the season (usually around spring training), the "traded" set would come out toward the end of the season and would include cards of the players who had been traded to new teams, as well as any hot rookies. Strawberry was the big winner in '83, Kevin Maas was the guy in '90. Kevin Maas was awesome.

Frank Thomas 1990 Leaf rookie. The 1990 Leaf series was the first that I can remember where a company that already had an existing brand (Donruss) issued a fancy, premium brand (Leaf) that collectors went nuts over. I was so jealous that Danny had this card. I think I still am.

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While I am honored to be the cause of such's poorly directed. Very.

If my memory serves me, not only did I NOT have that card, but a certain friend of mine did. Blake Stuchin. He owned such a card, and what a glorious card it was.


If my memory serves me even more, my foolhardy friend, Blake Stuchin, traded the Frank Thomas 1990 Leaf for an Ernie Banks card. The trading partner in this swap? My brother. David Abramson.

Months later, Blake would realize his mistake. So silly was this was move that he would choose to block it out of his memory completely. He did learn one thing from this traumatizing ordeal....

When it comes to trading baseball cards, don't fuck with David Abramson.

By Anonymous Dan Abramson, at Tuesday, March 20, 2007 12:11:00 AM  

Wow, really? I honestly don't remember that at all. I guess there are some memories so traumatic that they merit being bottled up forever.

I wonder if Dave will trade me the Frank Thomas now for a Tony Gwynn '87 Topps O-Pee-Chee, an bucket filled with Vanilla Wafers. I know I'd make that deal.

By Blogger blake, at Tuesday, March 20, 2007 8:11:00 AM  

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Pete Rose is an idiot

Pete Rose
Source: Flickr
According to this ESPN story, Pete Rose admitted not only that he bet on baseball, but also that he bet on the Reds to win every night. Appearing on the Dan Patrick/Keith Olbermann ESPN Radio show, he said that he hopes to be reinstated in baseball so that he can manage again. Says Rose, "[It's] all about dollars, Dan and Keith. If I was ever reinstated. If an owner don't want to win and draw people, don't call my number," Rose said.

Pete Rose is a lying, cheating, greedy man. I'm not sure what book he's promoting this time that he's coming forward and coming clean, but I'm sure that he has some kind of ulterior motive in doing so. At least he could have the decency to do something really crazy to merit falling into that "wacky ex-athlete" category of celebs that we love or love to hate, like Mike Tyson and Charles Barkley.

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Monday, March 12, 2007
But do they have TUP?

Source: ESPN

Doug Gottlieb just said that he likes that a team plays "inside out" when discussing three consecutive matchup discussions. I love March Madness.

Also, Wikipedia just taught me that Doug Gottlieb is a convicted felon. Thanks Wikipedia!

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Thursday, March 08, 2007


As all of my friends know, I root for the NFL's only Canadian football team. Today my beloved Bills traded Willis McGahee to the Ravens for a third round draft choice, a seventh round draft choice, a leprechaun, five horseshoes, and a baby unicorn. This just like the Herschel Walker deal and the Bills are like the Cowboys, except the complete opposite. Hey Marv - was Larry Andersen not available?

Every year the Bills find a new way to make me question why I choose to blindly and unfailingly support a team located 8 hours north of me in a part of the country that I have no desire to visit, producing nothing but frustration for me as I watch their games in quiet desperation. Ok loud desperation but desperation nonetheless. Can someone at least put Steve Tasker in the Hall of Fame immediately so that I can calm my kvetching a bit? That'd be great, thanks.

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Saturday, February 17, 2007
A Reason to Start Liking the Knicks


David Lee, the stellar sophomore who's currently the only likable player on the Knicks, scored 30 points on 14-14 shooting and won the MVP of the NBA Future Stars game tonight at All Star Weekend. I've written already that I don't enjoy watching the Knicks anymore, but if the Knicks can just get rid of the entire starting lineup, Isiah Thomas, and probably Jim Dolan, there might be hope yet. Plus, once the whole roster is gone, the Knicks will have the cap room to pursue LeBron.

On another note, I'm watching the McDonald's Celebrity All-Star game right now. Following a Jim Gray softball interview with Barry Bonds, Tom Tolbert went off in no particular direction about the impact of Barry Bonds' hitting 756. That's three minutes of my life that I can never get back.

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about me

I'm Blake. I like to learn stuff.

I like to learn about history, art, culture, sports, and politics. I like learning about what happens when you mix Diet Coke and Mentos. I like learning about Britney's latest flameup, Beckham's newest haircut, and how to make little origami gift boxes out a piece of 8.5x11.

I started this blog for me to have a place to write about the things that I've learned. I hope that you enjoy reading.

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I am a partner in The Rock Club, the NYC area's premier rock climbing gym. NYC kiddies - we're double the size of Chelsea Piers and way more fun. Programs and instruction for all skills and levels. Tell them Blake sent you and get a free carabineer. If you buy a membership, I will buy you a cupcake.

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